Kitchen Catastrophe – a true story by Vicious88

[Vicious88]

The smoke was so thick I couldn’t see the rim of my glasses. I had thought that perhaps the force of the explosion knocked them off of my face, but I had no time to think about that at the moment. The explosion had forced me away from the stove up against the counter. I could see bright lights burning intensely through the thick white smoke, and from the sound of it, I could tell the fire had spread.

My options started racing through my mind. One, I could let the house burn down and explain the situation to my mother when she got home, or the landlord when he showed up, which ever happened first… Or alternatively, I could save myself the hassle and burn down with the house. That seemed like the best course of action, but before my brain could come to a consensus my arm had turned on the kitchen sink and pulled the Rinsing Sprayer out of its holster. As I did so I could feel various places on my chest and arm start to come alive with pain, but, not being able to see them, I couldn’t asses the damage. I sprayed water in every direction I could until the flames subsided and the room was still. I then felt my way around the counter to the light switch so I could turn off the lights, which when combined with the smoke, only lowered my visibility.

With the lights off I could see most of my body and see that pieces of glass had flown through the air and burned their way through my shirt and skin. Not being able to see the floor, I stepped on a few pieces of glass moving my way towards the windows. I opened a few windows at the front of the house and a few at the back, but I ended up having to use the fans from my closet to get the bulk of the thick white smoke out…

When the smoke had cleared I could see clearly what had happened…

Just a week before the explosion, a couple of people whom I played paintball with offered to pay me a nice sum of money to brew up some smoke grenades. Having had an extensive history with pyrotechnics, I agreed and settled on a recipe consisting of Salt Peter and Sugar. I had done this particular recipe several times in the past without fail, but I suppose I was overdue for something bad to happen. The recipe called for me to mix the Salt Peter and Sugar (in measurements I won’t reveal) and sift them together. Once that was done I was supposed to caramelize them over a low heat, while constantly stirring, and then drain the liquid into the “Grenade Casings” which in this case were travel-sized Pringles cans. To optimize productivity I had organized my kitchen laboratory like this, from right to left: Salt Peter / Sugar Mix, Stove and brewing pot (pot on lower left burner), the empty Pringles cans. I had already finished about 6 of the grenades and I had about 24 or 25 more to go, so I just pushed the finished ones back against the wall. I knew from my past experience not to caramelize more then 6 grenades worth of powder at a time. My problems arose not due to lack of knowledge, but rather, multi-tasking. You see, while I was making the smoke grenades on the stove, I had a dollar store pizza cooking in the oven. When I decided to fix myself a glass of ice water, I took my caramelizing pot off the lower left burner and moved to the upper right, so as to avoid any sort of accident… What I didn’t know was that that particular burner doubled as a heat vent for the excess oven temperature, so I had actually just taken my explosive mixture and put it on a hotter burner – “so as to avoid any sort of accident…”

I had maybe put two ice cubes in the glass when, from behind me I heard a loud hissing noise. “Well that can’t be good,” crossed my mind, and just as I turned around, sparks from the pot flew into the glass casserole dish holding all the sugar and salt peter. In case you don’t know about smoke bombs, they are dangerous then minute the two substances meet, but by caramelizing the sugar and salt peter together, you ensure a slow burn and a constant stream of smoke. Half a cup of this particular mixture could turn day into night over a square city block. But what I found out this particular day was that if you set spark to the two powders before caramelization, not only do they produce a ton of smoke, but, they explode. Just before loosing sight of the explosion on account of the smoke (enough smoke to cover about 60 city blocks) I managed to see the Pyrex Casserole Dish heat up to such a point that it glowed red and exploded.

So, after the explosion, and the venting of the smoke, I started to clean up the damage. The flames had burst from the casserole dish and licked the stove hood and the ceiling above it with black scars. I remedied this with the help of a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and a bottle of White Shoe Police. The next issue was sweeping up all the glass from the counter tops and floor. It was during this chore that I realized that several areas of the floor had been pierced by the red hot glass, destroying the linoleum.

Personally, I didn’t fear being kicked out of the place, seeing as it was going to happen sooner or later anyway, but I didn’t quiet feel it was right for my mom to get kicked out along with me, so something had to be done. I called my best friend’s (Tsucasta’s) mom (the wife a professional floor installer), and got a list of stuff I would need. I then called another friend’s mother and got her to deliver a bunch of stuff to me. Amongst the truckload was a second box of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, a generous number of self-adhesive linoleum tiles, and, just as a precaution, a can of spray on adhesive. Long story short, I got a crash course in re-tiling a kitchen floor. It took me maybe all of twenty minutes to pull up the damaged floor, and about an additional 4 hours to lay down 85% of the new floor. I’d have been finished and rested if my mom had been delayed by another 30 minutes.

The moral of the story? If you have to cover up a mistake and the best excuse you can hope to give is “We won a surprise kitchen make over from ABC” – Go ahead and burn down with the house.
_________________

Ah, Signature Changes...

[Vicious88]

The smoke was so thick I couldn’t see the rim of my glasses. I had thought that perhaps the force of the explosion knocked them off of my face, but I had no time to think about that at the moment. The explosion had forced me away from the stove up against the counter. I could see bright lights burning intensely through the thick white smoke, and from the sound of it, I could tell the fire had spread.

My options started racing through my mind. One, I could let the house burn down and explain the situation to my mother when she got home, or the landlord when he showed up, which ever happened first… Or alternatively, I could save myself the hassle and burn down with the house. That seemed like the best course of action, but before my brain could come to a consensus my arm had turned on the kitchen sink and pulled the Rinsing Sprayer out of its holster. As I did so I could feel various places on my chest and arm start to come alive with pain, but, not being able to see them, I couldn’t asses the damage. I sprayed water in every direction I could until the flames subsided and the room was still. I then felt my way around the counter to the light switch so I could turn off the lights, which when combined with the smoke, only lowered my visibility.

With the lights off I could see most of my body and see that pieces of glass had flown through the air and burned their way through my shirt and skin. Not being able to see the floor, I stepped on a few pieces of glass moving my way towards the windows. I opened a few windows at the front of the house and a few at the back, but I ended up having to use the fans from my closet to get the bulk of the thick white smoke out…

When the smoke had cleared I could see clearly what had happened…

Just a week before the explosion, a couple of people whom I played paintball with offered to pay me a nice sum of money to brew up some smoke grenades. Having had an extensive history with pyrotechnics, I agreed and settled on a recipe consisting of Salt Peter and Sugar. I had done this particular recipe several times in the past without fail, but I suppose I was overdue for something bad to happen. The recipe called for me to mix the Salt Peter and Sugar (in measurements I won’t reveal) and sift them together. Once that was done I was supposed to caramelize them over a low heat, while constantly stirring, and then drain the liquid into the “Grenade Casings” which in this case were travel-sized Pringles cans. To optimize productivity I had organized my kitchen laboratory like this, from right to left: Salt Peter / Sugar Mix, Stove and brewing pot (pot on lower left burner), the empty Pringles cans. I had already finished about 6 of the grenades and I had about 24 or 25 more to go, so I just pushed the finished ones back against the wall. I knew from my past experience not to caramelize more then 6 grenades worth of powder at a time. My problems arose not due to lack of knowledge, but rather, multi-tasking. You see, while I was making the smoke grenades on the stove, I had a dollar store pizza cooking in the oven. When I decided to fix myself a glass of ice water, I took my caramelizing pot off the lower left burner and moved to the upper right, so as to avoid any sort of accident… What I didn’t know was that that particular burner doubled as a heat vent for the excess oven temperature, so I had actually just taken my explosive mixture and put it on a hotter burner – “so as to avoid any sort of accident…”

I had maybe put two ice cubes in the glass when, from behind me I heard a loud hissing noise. “Well that can’t be good,” crossed my mind, and just as I turned around, sparks from the pot flew into the glass casserole dish holding all the sugar and salt peter. In case you don’t know about smoke bombs, they are dangerous then minute the two substances meet, but by caramelizing the sugar and salt peter together, you ensure a slow burn and a constant stream of smoke. Half a cup of this particular mixture could turn day into night over a square city block. But what I found out this particular day was that if you set spark to the two powders before caramelization, not only do they produce a ton of smoke, but, they explode. Just before loosing sight of the explosion on account of the smoke (enough smoke to cover about 60 city blocks) I managed to see the Pyrex Casserole Dish heat up to such a point that it glowed red and exploded.

So, after the explosion, and the venting of the smoke, I started to clean up the damage. The flames had burst from the casserole dish and licked the stove hood and the ceiling above it with black scars. I remedied this with the help of a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and a bottle of White Shoe Police. The next issue was sweeping up all the glass from the counter tops and floor. It was during this chore that I realized that several areas of the floor had been pierced by the red hot glass, destroying the linoleum.

Personally, I didn’t fear being kicked out of the place, seeing as it was going to happen sooner or later anyway, but I didn’t quiet feel it was right for my mom to get kicked out along with me, so something had to be done. I called my best friend’s (Tsucasta’s) mom (the wife a professional floor installer), and got a list of stuff I would need. I then called another friend’s mother and got her to deliver a bunch of stuff to me. Amongst the truckload was a second box of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, a generous number of self-adhesive linoleum tiles, and, just as a precaution, a can of spray on adhesive. Long story short, I got a crash course in re-tiling a kitchen floor. It took me maybe all of twenty minutes to pull up the damaged floor, and about an additional 4 hours to lay down 85% of the new floor. I’d have been finished and rested if my mom had been delayed by another 30 minutes.

The moral of the story? If you have to cover up a mistake and the best excuse you can hope to give is “We won a surprise kitchen make over from ABC” – Go ahead and burn down with the house.
_________________

Ah, Signature Changes...

[flozz]

ok it works now
_________________

[flozz]

ok it works now
_________________

[flozz]

ok it works now
_________________