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Joined: 15 Oct 2007 Posts: 25 Location: Banned = Not On Infohub
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:41 pm Post subject: I know why there are more suicides over the holidays
it is because people have to spend time withtheir extended families. i am in florida with my family and i swear to god i am one more snide comment away from lighting myslef on fire. well maybe nothing that dramatic... maybe i will just lock myslef in the bathroom with a can of drano and a soup spoon... ok those are all just pleasant fantasies being as i am a mom and i cannot afford the luxury of offing myslef for another 18 years. But i swear i am goin nuts. if it wasnt a 14 hour drive to get here i would so be gone already. my mother and i lived with my grandma till i was 9, so she never had a to work to put a roof over my head or food in tummy cause her mom did it for her, then when i was 9 she up and disappeared and no one knew where she was until i was 14. at which time i lived with my dad until i was taken out of the home by social services cause he had a bad drug problem. when they gave my mother the option of letting me live with her or going into a group home... well lets just say she didnt pick the option of me living with her. when i found out i was pregnant at 21... she wanted me to have an abortion, when i wouldnt do that she wanted me to give my daughter up for adoption. when i wouldnt do that either she refused to have anything to do with me or my daughter until she was 8 months old. and after all that she has the nerve to tell me i am a bad person and a bad mother because i live in a trailer?! and because i choose to stay home with my daughter and collect unemployment while i have the opportunity? when i first had her i did work... i worked until she was 6 1/2 months old and it was so awful because i never gotto see her, she abrely knew me, i was missing all her first stuff like the first time she rolled over or the first time she sat up by herself. and when i got fired i got the oppurtunity to stay home and get unemployment so i could spend six months straigt with her and i took it. i miss working but i would not give up this time i have had with her for anything. i got to see her pull herself up for the first time, heard her first word (ba) saw her crawl and all that stuff. if i didnt have an income i would work but i have enough money to take care of us and stay home and i eill never beleive that makes me a bad mom. X-(! ok that was my rant, i feel better... thanks for listening
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being as i am a mom and i cannot afford the luxury of offing myslef for another 18 years. But i swear i am goin nuts. if it wasnt a 14 hour drive to get here i would so be gone already. my mother and i lived with my grandma till i was 9, so she never had a to work to put a roof over my head or food in tummy cause her mom did it for her, then when i was 9 she up and disappeared and no one knew where she was until i was 14. at which time i lived with my dad until i was taken out of the home by social services cause he had a bad drug problem. when they gave my mother the option of letting me live with her or going into a group home... well lets just say she didnt pick the option of me living with her. when i found out i was pregnant at 21... she wanted me to have an abortion, when i wouldnt do that she wanted me to give my daughter up for adoption. when i wouldnt do that either she refused to have anything to do with me or my daughter until she was 8 months old. and after all that she has the nerve to tell me i am a bad person and a bad mother because i live in a trailer?! and because i choose to stay home with my daughter and collect unemployment while i have the opportunity? when i first had her i did work... i worked until she was 6 1/2 months old and it was so awful because i never gotto see her, she abrely knew me, i was missing all her first stuff like the first time she rolled over or the first time she sat up by herself. and when i got fired i got the oppurtunity to stay home and get unemployment so i could spend six months straigt with her and i took it. i miss working but i would not give up this time i have had with her for anything. i got to see her pull herself up for the first time, heard her first word (ba) saw her crawl and all that stuff. if i didnt have an income i would work but i have enough money to take care of us and stay home and i eill never beleive that makes me a bad mom. X-(! ok that was my rant, i feel better... thanks for listening
