Fake O'clock Evening News

[Vicious88]

"Good Evening - I'm Mark Evans."
"And I'm Judy Benit."
"And you're watching the Infohub Fake O'clock Evening News."
"But Not for long are they, Mark?"
"That's right, Judy, it seems that a certain member of our cast has in advertantly broken the teleprompter. Here with more on this story is news correspondant, Dav Vebass - Day."
"Yes, Mark, as you can see, I'm standing directly to the right of the camera that was filming you just seconds ago. As you may have noticed, there is a computer monitor here with the words "ONOZ!" scrolling across it. This would mean, to the best of our technical ability, that the teleprompter, is in fact broken."
"Any suspects on who might have commited the breaking, Day?"
"Sadly, Judy, it looks like we have no suspects at the time. Which is good. Because I'm sure that who ever did it, is really sorry now, and that she doesn't want to be fired."
"That's oddly guilt-ridden, Day."
"That's because I'm certain those are the feelings the culprit would be experiencing right now."
"So you didn't break the teleprompter?"
"No."
"Are you sure."
"Yes."
"The reason I ask is because right after it stopped working, you disappeared for like... thirty or fourty minu-"
"I DIDN'T DO IT, JUDY, OKAY?! JUST DROP IT!"
"And that was Day Vebass with the latest crisis-at-home."
"...Did she just scream at me?"
"As a result of our technical error, and a lack of intresting news that doesn't involve how big of pricks our presidential nominees are, we've dicided to cut today's broadcast short and bombard you with messages from our sponsors. Enjoy."

"Infohub-forums.com apply directly to your browser! Infohub-forums.com apply directly to your browser! Infohub-forums.com apply directly to your browser. Infohub-forums.com available at infohub-forums.com"

"Hi, I'm attorny Rob Ueblind. I've been handling law suits for clients for over 3 weeks now, and I'm ready to put my expertiese to work for you. Are you broke? Poor? Bankrupt? Or just too lazy to earn your own money? Well, thankfully, when our forefathers established this country on the grounds of high treason, they made it clear that each and every one of us is entitled to someone else's money. Sue your boss for firing you because you never showed up. Sue your parents for ruining your childhood. Sue your partners parents for ruining thanksgiving. Sue your co-workers, your friends, and your family. Make money - the American way. And, if for any reason, I don't win your case - you won't owe me a dime. Just your house, car, and all other worldy assests."

"Cars, Cars, Cars, and More Cars! ...and a truck or two. Come buy cars at Akbar's Lemon Lot. They're cheap AND affordable! Why buy cars from someone you can trust, you could buy them from someone who can trust you!"

"Are you tired of picking pulp out of your blender? Is it not crushing ice like it once did? Or do you just wish that your blender had more power? What if I told you, that theres a new blender on the market that is SO POWERFUL - you can blend your current blender!?!?!? That's right - introducing the Blender Blender 2000. It has an amazing 250 horsepower diesel engine that can completely liquify your currently blender, and anything else smaller than 4 feet in diameter. Now you may be thinking that a 6 foot tall, 4 feet wide blender is a shade too big, but you're wrong! You moron... Just look at what it can do!"
"I had weeds growing along side my air conditioner unit, so I blended some dead batteries and put them on the weeds - nothings growing there again - ever!"
"When my wife cheated on me, I released I had need for a powerful blender. Thankfully, the Blender Blender was there."
"I wanted a second Blender Blender for the home - but instead my husband bought a high-dollar set of titanium wrenches and tools. They blended perfectly."
"I didn't know what to do with my old car parts - but now, I just blend them."
"These are just a few of our satisfied customers. So, go ahead and try our product. It's only $14,249.95 - and if it's not the best money you've ever spent, then you wasted your money."
_________________

Ah, Signature Changes...

[Vicious88]

"Good Evening - I'm Mark Evans."
"And I'm Judy Benit."
"And you're watching the Infohub Fake O'clock Evening News."
"But Not for long are they, Mark?"
"That's right, Judy, it seems that a certain member of our cast has in advertantly broken the teleprompter. Here with more on this story is news correspondant, Dav Vebass - Day."
"Yes, Mark, as you can see, I'm standing directly to the right of the camera that was filming you just seconds ago. As you may have noticed, there is a computer monitor here with the words "ONOZ!" scrolling across it. This would mean, to the best of our technical ability, that the teleprompter, is in fact broken."
"Any suspects on who might have commited the breaking, Day?"
"Sadly, Judy, it looks like we have no suspects at the time. Which is good. Because I'm sure that who ever did it, is really sorry now, and that she doesn't want to be fired."
"That's oddly guilt-ridden, Day."
"That's because I'm certain those are the feelings the culprit would be experiencing right now."
"So you didn't break the teleprompter?"
"No."
"Are you sure."
"Yes."
"The reason I ask is because right after it stopped working, you disappeared for like... thirty or fourty minu-"
"I DIDN'T DO IT, JUDY, OKAY?! JUST DROP IT!"
"And that was Day Vebass with the latest crisis-at-home."
"...Did she just scream at me?"
"As a result of our technical error, and a lack of intresting news that doesn't involve how big of pricks our presidential nominees are, we've dicided to cut today's broadcast short and bombard you with messages from our sponsors. Enjoy."

"Infohub-forums.com apply directly to your browser! Infohub-forums.com apply directly to your browser! Infohub-forums.com apply directly to your browser. Infohub-forums.com available at infohub-forums.com"

"Hi, I'm attorny Rob Ueblind. I've been handling law suits for clients for over 3 weeks now, and I'm ready to put my expertiese to work for you. Are you broke? Poor? Bankrupt? Or just too lazy to earn your own money? Well, thankfully, when our forefathers established this country on the grounds of high treason, they made it clear that each and every one of us is entitled to someone else's money. Sue your boss for firing you because you never showed up. Sue your parents for ruining your childhood. Sue your partners parents for ruining thanksgiving. Sue your co-workers, your friends, and your family. Make money - the American way. And, if for any reason, I don't win your case - you won't owe me a dime. Just your house, car, and all other worldy assests."

"Cars, Cars, Cars, and More Cars! ...and a truck or two. Come buy cars at Akbar's Lemon Lot. They're cheap AND affordable! Why buy cars from someone you can trust, you could buy them from someone who can trust you!"

"Are you tired of picking pulp out of your blender? Is it not crushing ice like it once did? Or do you just wish that your blender had more power? What if I told you, that theres a new blender on the market that is SO POWERFUL - you can blend your current blender!?!?!? That's right - introducing the Blender Blender 2000. It has an amazing 250 horsepower diesel engine that can completely liquify your currently blender, and anything else smaller than 4 feet in diameter. Now you may be thinking that a 6 foot tall, 4 feet wide blender is a shade too big, but you're wrong! You moron... Just look at what it can do!"
"I had weeds growing along side my air conditioner unit, so I blended some dead batteries and put them on the weeds - nothings growing there again - ever!"
"When my wife cheated on me, I released I had need for a powerful blender. Thankfully, the Blender Blender was there."
"I wanted a second Blender Blender for the home - but instead my husband bought a high-dollar set of titanium wrenches and tools. They blended perfectly."
"I didn't know what to do with my old car parts - but now, I just blend them."
"These are just a few of our satisfied customers. So, go ahead and try our product. It's only $14,249.95 - and if it's not the best money you've ever spent, then you wasted your money."
_________________

Ah, Signature Changes...

[sweetie79]

That Blender Blender 2000 sounds good... Think I know a couple of things I could use it for.... too bad it's soooo expensive (and doesn't exist)... LOL
_________________
Never fear what others think, because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind. True friends stick with you no matter what.

[sweetie79]

That Blender Blender 2000 sounds good... Think I know a couple of things I could use it for.... too bad it's soooo expensive (and doesn't exist)... LOL
_________________
Never fear what others think, because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind. True friends stick with you no matter what.