33 Ways

[Smashboy]

From the warmth of the womb to the frost of stone
Nothing can heal the wounds I've sewn
Though they never bleed, they itch and sting
And remind me of the life I'd never bring
This octagonal table shrouded in the corner
Seats but one soulless mourner
For the tragedy of fates gone astray
And the thirty-three ways I'd failed today

The way I should have told her I loved her forever
Were I there, would her life be better?
The way I should have been there in his time of need
Selfishness stifling a simple good deed
The way I should have fought to keep them home
The empty feeling they left overflows
The way I should have proved her right
I won't allow my failure to be in her sight
The way I should have blessed their union
My bitterness became our friendships' undoing
The way I should have stopped his biggest mistake
I let him suffer and proceeded to forsake
The way I shouldn't have broken her heart
Overnight romance is a terrible start
The way I look at her and know she deserves more
I haven't earned the right to be adored
The way I failed to truly protect her
When she falls, I'm supposed to catch her
The way I should have ignored excuse
And freed his family from his abuse
The way I should have cradled her close
When news of his death had melted her rose
The way I saw a dying child's misery
Two minutes sooner could have changed history

The many ways I'd failed them all
Could fill display cases along this hall
A corridor of shame I walk each year
That ends in a door housing my greatest fear
For which is better, to live or die
When regret and sorrow streaks your sky?
Such a life makes one's spirit frail
To spend your years counting the ways you've failed